The power of drunken kisses
by Robmeister2010
Summary: A drunken Penny about to drive her car makes Sheldon remember Drew, the friend who died when Sheldon let him drive away in the same situation. He won't make the same mistake again. But when a drunken Penny kisses him, he decides further research into this new element of their friendship paradigm is required.
1. Chapter 1

Penny stumbled down the stairs to the lobby. She giggled slightly as she rested against the wall before going out the door and making her way unsteadily to her car. She struggled to get the key in the door when suddenly she was pushed up against the door.

"Penny, you are in no fit state to operate a motor vehicle."

"I'm fine. I'm only going to the shop to buy some wine Moonpie." She giggled. Sheldon ignored her use of his Meemaws term of endearment and prevented her from opening the door.

"Penny, I will not allow you to drive this car in that state." He said firmly.

"It's my car and I'll drive if I want to." Giggled Penny. Sheldon snatched the keys out of her unsteady hand.

"Sheldon, what the hell? Give me my keys back!" she cried.

"I will return your keys to you in the morning. When you are of a sufficient sobriety level to drive you vehicle." Said Sheldon moving away from her, confident that she wouldn't attempt to break into and hotwire her own vehicle.

"Who do you think you are taking my keys? It's my fucking car!" cried Penny.

"Penny, there is no need for such obscene language." Said Sheldon.

"Fuck you Sheldon! You're ruining my buzz." She cried. Sheldon turned to her.

"And how exactly do you expect to deal with this 'buzz' you speak of? By crashing into a telephone pole like Drew?" he asked.

"Who the hell is Drew?" asked Penny sitting unsteadily on the bonnet of her car.

"He was perhaps the one person I could have called a friend when I was at college. I had a chance to stop him driving his vehicle whilst intoxicated and I didn't. Next time I saw him was on a mortuary table identifying his body because his family were too upset. I won't make that mistake with you." Said Sheldon. Penny froze as she noticed the tears forming in his eyes.

"Sheldon, I'm sorry!" she whispered weakly.

"I do not wish you to be sorry Penny. I wish you to be alive." Said Sheldon wiping his face and turning on his heel to head back to the lobby. Penny followed him at a little too quick pace and the next thing she knew she was sprawled on the cold concrete of the car park.

"Sheldon!" she cried reaching her hand out. Sheldon turned to observe her and closed the gap between them, pulling her to her feet with one effortless tug on her hand. He rested his hands on her hips to help her keep her balance.

"You never told me about Drew." She whispered.

"It is not something I like to dwell on. Whilst I have spent my adult life managing my emotions, there are certain excerpts of my life which have a profound effect on my emotional wellbeing." He stated.

"How did you know I was out here?" asked Penny.

"It was not a complex problem to solve. I heard you singing drunkenly in the hall way, I heard the rattle of your car keys with the use of my Vulcan hearing, and I heard you descend, albeit unsteadily, downstairs towards the car park." Said Sheldon.

"You came after me." Said Penny.

"Like I said. I wish for you to be alive. I already lost one friend through a drunken mistake. I will not allow it to happen again…Penny." Said Sheldon, his voice faltering at the last word.

"Sheldon, don't cry." She whispered. She leaned forward and rested her drunken head against his chest and took a deep breath in. Sheldon looked awkwardly around the car park, uncomfortable at the close physical contact she was imposing upon him.

"Would you care for a hot beverage to aid in sobering up?" he asked.

"I'll do whatever you say I should. I trust you. You always know what's best for me." Penny sighed still leaning against him.

"On that subject…you have changed your shampoo. Stop that madness immediately!" he warned her. Penny lifted her head and tried to focus on him with her drunken eyes.

"You're cute." She smiled.

"You're drunk." He replied.

"Kiss me." She whispered.

"Don't be ridiculous." Snapped Sheldon.

"I want to kiss you." She whined, batting his eyelashes as if that would make any difference against the Homo Novus.

"That would not be appropriate behaviour between friends." Sheldon replied trying to steer her in the direction of the door to the lobby. No sooner were they through, Sheldon made the mistake of turning his back on her to check for any mail left during the day. No sooner had he turned round and Penny was standing uncomfortably close to him and eased her arms around his neck.

"Come on Sheldon. I've wanted this since the second I laid eyes on you. Surely I can have one moment of weakness?" she asked.

"Penny, you are in an intoxicated state, your brain is unable to make rational decisions, I very much doubt you are in any way in possession of any of your mental faculties." Said Sheldon.

"You're mean. I know what I want and I'm getting it." Said Penny forcing her lips onto his. Sheldon froze in shock. He tried to pull away but her Nebraskan strength hadn't failed her even in her intoxication and he was held firmly in place.

_Alright Cooper. She's not going to let you go until she's done this unhygienic act. Let her get it over with, get her upstairs, then disinfect with the super strength mouth wash._

"Sheldon…" she gasped as she pulled away.

"Are you done invading my mouth with your germs?" he asked. Penny stared at him, a slow look of realisation crossing her face and visibly sobering her up. She turned away from him and stumbled as best she could up the stairs and out of view. Sheldon took a moment to think through what had occurred.

"Strange feeling of euphoria. Elevated heart rate. Blood flow to the gential regions. Hmm. I must conduct more research on this strange phenomenon." He muttered to himself before ascending the stairs.


	2. Flashbacks and sober Penny

**A/N Thanks everyone for taking the time to review the first chapter. I'm glad it was well received, I had the idea come to me and thought it would make an interesting fic.**

**Guest, I do want to try and get stories finished, 15 are already complete and if Not A Homo Novus stays as a one shot then I only have 8 stories apart from this one that need finishing. I'm getting there! lol**

**I'd like to dedicate this part to Jislane35 for giving me the idea of a flashback dream.**

Sheldon got into bed in his usual central position and pulled the duvet over him. He hoped he would be able to get to restful sleep, but part of him knew it wasn't likely. When he did drift off, a dream came to his mind:

"_Drew, you're not going to drive are you? You've consumed a great deal of alcohol."_

"_Sheldon, chill out man, I'm good. I can drive with my eyes closed."_

"_I would not recommend that as an activity."_

"_Sheldon, do you want some food or not?"_

"_I'm concerned that you are going to operate a motor vehicle whilst under the influence of alcoholic beverages just to get a pizza. We can get it delivered."_

"_Yeah, and wait hours for the fucking driver to turn up. They'll put our order to the end because we're not some female slut in tight clothes who fucks them to get out of paying!"_

"_Drew, there is no need for such crude talk."_

"_Sheldon, relax, I'll be back before you know it, and we can watch that DVD you bought yesterday."_

"_Drew, please don't drive! I have grave issues with what you're about to attempt to do."_

"_Sheldon, I'll be fine. Get some drinks on the go, I'll be back before you know it."_

_*A phone ringing can be heard. Sheldon picks it up*_

"_Hello?"_

"_Is that Sheldon Cooper?"_

"_Yes it is."_

"_I'm Doctor Johnson from the hospital. We've got you down as contact details for a Drew Rockmore."_

"_Oh my god! Is he OK!"_

"_I'm afraid I can't divulge that over the phone. I need you to attend the hospital as a matter of urgency."_

_*Sheldon enters the morgue. The cloth is pulled back. A tear falls down Sheldons cheek*_

"_Yes. That's him."_

"ARGH!" yelled Sheldon waking up and sitting bolt upright breathing heavily. He glanced around his room. It was as if he'd relived that night all over again.

"I'm sorry I didn't stop you Drew." He whispered. He got out of bed and pulled on his robe, moving into his living room and sitting in his spot. Night turned to morning and he was disturbed from his thoughts by the door opening. He tilted his head to look.

"Sheldon." Whispered Penny awkwardly.

"Good morning Penny." He replied softly.

"Can I…come in?" she asked glancing down at the floor.

"You've not asked for permission before." He said.

"I've not kissed you before either. Sheldon, I just wanted to apologise. And to thank you. For stopping me." Said Penny quietly.

"I had a flashback last night. A flashback of Drew. Do you know how long it took me to put that night to the back of my mind? Yet you did the same thing and brought it all back." he said.

"I…I'm sorry." She stammered.

"Your keys are in the bowl. I hope you have sobered up enough to drive your vehicle." He said turning away from her. Penny paused.

"You're upset with me aren't you?" she guessed.

"Why would I be upset? All you did was try to kill yourself or others whilst intoxicated." Sheldon shrugged.

"Please don't be mad at me." Whispered Penny. Sheldon shook his head.

"Like I said. Your keys are in the bowl." He said quietly.

"I thought I would be OK to drive." Said Penny.

"So did Drew." He replied.

"Sheldon…"

"Do you know what I had to see when I went to identify the body on behalf of his family? I saw things you can't even imagine in your worst nightmares." Said Sheldon.

"But you stopped me." Said Penny.

"I had to. I wasn't going to go through that with you aswell. I had to save you from yourself." Said Sheldon.

"And I repaid you by forcing myself on you." Sighed Penny.

"Do you think I care about the kiss in the grand scheme of things? Penny, I would have happily undertaken coitus with you as a preference to having to identify you on a mortuary table, and you know how I feel about coitus!" he said.

"Sheldon, I don't deserve you." She whispered.

"Penny, my dream has kept me awake and disrupted my REM sleep cycle, I do not have the strength, physically or mentally, to engage in a conversation about what you do or do not deserve, I will simply end this conversation by saying I am glad I was able to stop you." Said Sheldon getting to his feet. He made his way to the sink. His Vulcan hearing picked up her footsteps coming towards him but he still flinched when she pressed up against him and wrapped her arms around his waist from behind.

"I'm sorry I brought back bad memories for you Sheldon." She whispered resting her head on his back.

"As you are well aware, I have an eidetic memory so I have never forgotten that experience. I just prefer to distract myself with other things." Said Sheldon.

"Do you hate me?" she asked softly.


	3. Sheldon kisses back

Sheldon let out a sigh.

"Penny you should know I could never hate you." He said softly.

"I upset you though." Said Penny. Sheldon started to turn round, and Penny released him just enough to let him turn to face her, then tightened her grip on him, burying her face in his chest.

"If you'll excuse me, I have my morning routine to get underway." Said Sheldon.

"You _do_ hate me." Sighed Penny letting him go and hurrying across the apartment and out the door. Sheldon simply made his way to his room. Penny got into her apartment, closed the door, and slid down until she was on the floor, back against the door, and pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her head on them.

"Oh Sheldon…" she sighed. For the rest of the day she kept to herself. Sheldon clearly needed space after what she had subjected him to the night before. She thought about how Sheldon must have felt losing Drew. Possibly the one friend Sheldon had, until he met Leonard and the rest of the group in his advanced stage of adult hood. Night time came and just as she was heading to bed, she heard a familiar noise.

*knock knock knock* Penny!

*knock knock knock* Penny!

Penny paused but there was no third knock.

"TWO! THAT WAS TWO!" came a sudden loud reply.

*knock knock knock* Penny!

Penny rolled her eyes and opened the door.

"I didn't know if you'd want to see me today." Penny admitted quietly.

"Hey beautiful!" grinned Sheldon, arms behind his back in his usual pose but with an unusal grin on his face.

"I'm sorry, I must be more tired than I thought, I could have sworn you just called me beautiful?" asked Penny.

"Kiss me!" cried Sheldon stepping forward. Penny frowned.

"Sheldon, you've been drinking!" she cried.

"I thought it would be an interesting experiment to see if the findings of our previous kiss would be repeated when we switched roles, that is you are sober and I am drunk!" Sheldon declared raising his hand over his head.

"Sheldon, you stink of spirits, what on earth have you been doing?" asked Penny.

"Did I not just explain the experiment?" he asked, his eyes trying to focus on her and for the most part failing.

"Sheldon, I'm not going to…what are you doing? Sheldon, let go!" cried Penny as he wrapped his hands around her head and moved closer to her.

"Penny, for once in your life, be quiet!" he ordered and pressed his lips against hers before she could even speak. Penny struggled to pull back out of his surprisingly firm grip.

"Mmpff!" was all Penny was able to get out, his lips too firm against hers to allow the art of clear speech.

"Fascinating." Whispered Sheldon when he finally stepped back from her.

"What the hell was that? You can't just go getting drunk and kissing me!" cried Penny.

"You seemed to think it was perfectly acceptable last night!" Sheldon argued.

"I was drunk!" said Penny.

"So am I!" said Sheldon.

"I did not deliberately get myself drunk just to kiss you! I won't be one of your weird scientific experiments Sheldon. To think I've been worried all day how I was going to make it up to you and…" Penny trailed off as Sheldon again stepped forward and pressed his lips against hers. Penny slammed her fists into his upper arms but he maintained his grip on her. Penny whimpered as she tried to pull away. Part of her was surprised at how drunk Sheldon was able to ignore his germ phobia so strongly.

"I enjoy your kisses." Sheldon declared when he stepped back. Then he collapsed backwards into the hallway and passed out.

"Oh brilliant!" sighed Penny. Casting her a look sideways to her room she grabbed Sheldons legs and dragged him across the floor into her apartment.

"You really need to put on some weight Moonpie." She whispered to herself as she easily pulled him across the floor into her room. With a little effort she managed to get his drunken passed out body up onto the bed. It was then Sheldon momentarily came to, and threw out an arm to pull her towards him.

"What the…Sheldon!" cried Penny as she overbalanced and landed on top of him on the bed.

"Sheldon, come on, you need to get some sleep!" said Penny trying to extricate herself from his grip.

"Sing Soft Kitty." He murmured.

"Soft Kitty is for when you're sick. Self induced sickness doesn't count." She declared.

"I do not see the fairness in all this. You kissed me and I was expected to accept it, yet when I did it back you seem to be doing everything bar kicking me in my private regions!" said Sheldon. Penny gave up momentarily on her efforts to pull herself clear of his grip and instead glanced at his face.

"Sheldon, I know what I did was wrong. But this isn't a way to deal with it is it? You remember what happened the last time you got drunk? You came home with no pants on!" said Penny hoping he would come to his senses.

"Don't care." Muttered Sheldon in a childish sounding voice. Penny rolled her eyes, picking up on the fact he was not going to listen to her in his current state.

"Alright Sheldon, time to let me go so you can get some sleep. Come on, lift your arm up." Said Penny.

"No!" Sheldon replied gripping her tighter.

"Sheldon, if you don't let me go in five seconds, I'm gonna go Nebraska on your ass!" Penny warned.

"Oh Penny. Pretty pretty Penny." Sheldon murmured. He passed out and his arms went limp.

"Look what you've done to yourself Sheldon." She sighed to herself. She couldn't help glancing up at his untidy hair and patting it down with her hand in the way he normally had it. Penny pulled herself from his relaxed grasp and made her way out of the bedroom.

"Well why should he be the only one to drink?" she asked. Learning from the night before, she put her car keys out of the way before cracking open a bottle of wine and sinking into the couch.

_I gotta admit. He's not a bad kisser. Holy crap on a cracker! I've only had one sip, how the hell strong is this wine?!_


	4. Drunken relief

Penny dropped the wine bottle on the floor and rolled off the couch. She couldn't remember how many bottles she'd had, but she was certainly feeling the effects. She tried to get to her feet but the alcohol made the carpet seem so very comfortable.

"Must…get…to…bed…" she made a struggle in vain to lift herself up from her position on the floor.

"Come on girl, you can do this." She told herself. She pulled herself to a kneeling position and balanced herself with an arm on the couch.

"How the hell much did I drink?" she asked herself. She cast a glance towards the bedroom. Suddenly it hit her that for someone who had drunk as much as he had, he hadn't gone to the toilet since his appearance in her apartment.

"Sheldon, you'd better not have pissed yourself in there!" she yelled out. Then she had a small giggle fit at the thought of Sheldon waking up the next morning hungover, hygiene requirements returned, covered in his own urine after his bladder voided the alcohol from his body. Then she glanced back at the bedroom.

"Hey, don't you piss yourself in there, I have to clean it up!" she calculated. It wasn't laundry night and she knew doing laundry on a night other than laundry night would probably be enough to send the occupant of her bed into a psychiatric hospital with a full blown mental breakdown. Realising she wouldn't win her attempts to get to her feet in her current position, she took to crawling across the floor on her hands and knees. She paused and looked down at herself.

"Hey Moonpie, you want some action, I'm in just the right position! Take me big boy!" she yelled out, bursting into more laughter and falling over onto her back. As the laughter subsided, she pulled herself back onto her front and crawled the rest of the way into her bedroom.

"Great. Can't even use my own bed!" she muttered lifting her head up just high enough to see the passed out body of her nerdy neighbour sprawled across it in the same position she'd left him earlier. Penny managed to pull herself to her feet, and felt slightly proud of herself with her achievement.

"Hey Moonpie! I want my bed!" she called. Sheldon was passed out drunk and didn't respond.

"Sheldon, come on!" she whined. Still Sheldon remained passed out. Penny stumbled round the bed, landing against the wall and pushing the bathroom door open with her hand. She stumbled in, immediately crashing onto the bathroom floor.

"Ooh…" she groaned as she tried to recover from the impact which had winded her a little. As she recovered she slid across the bathroom floor and pulled herself up onto the toilet.

"Oh damnit!" she groaned realising she still had her clothes pulled up. She struggled to pull her clothes down with one hand whilst holding onto the toilet cistern with the other. As she tried to pull her skirt down her hand brushed between her legs and she gasped. It had been a long time since she'd had any activity like that, and even the lightest of touches was making her wet.

"Oh…" she groaned. Suddenly an image of Sheldon finding her in this position entered her mind. Just what would a drunken Sheldon Cooper do when faced with such a visual sight? Part of her wished he'd do what all other guys would do…make her cry out the name of a deity that Doctor Sheldon Cooper didn't believe in until she begged for mercy and doubted whether she'd be able to walk as far as the bed. As she snapped out of the image she was even more wet.

"Oh Sheldon…?" she called seductively. She let out a sad sigh when there was no response.

"Well if the mountain won't go to Mohammed…" she mused. She struggled to her feet, waddling to the bathroom door with her skirt and knickers half way down her thighs, which somehow made it easier for her to stumble out into the bedroom.

"You should have known better than to remain in my bed Moonpie!" she grinned collapsing onto the bed beside him. She leaned over, pressing her lips against his. This was enough to cause him to stir.

"Devil woman!" he growled focusing on her with a look of lust and desire.

"You love it!" she smirked.

"So how would you define the conclusion of my experiment?" he asked.

"I don't care about your experiment Sheldon. I want you to fuck me. Can't you tell how wet I am?" she asked. She reached down for his hand and slid it between her legs.

"So wet…" Sheldon whispered softly.

"You must be really wasted sweetie. Your germ phobia isn't working." She grinned.

"Neither is my Kolinar." he growled softly, a sound that made her even more wet. She wasn't prepared for the sensation of his fingers rubbing against her.

"Oh…oh fuck…oh Sheldon don't tease me!" she begged. It only took a small move on her part to cause his fingers to plunge inside her.

"Oh Sheldon…do you even know what you're doing to me?" she asked.

"Penny, must you talk to insessently?" he asked. The sound of frustration in his voice at being distracted turned her on even more. It wasn't long before she felt that familiar sensation.

"Sheldon don't stop…god…so close…" she gasped.

"I feel strange…" muttered Sheldon.

"Sheldon? Sheldon, don't you dare pass out on me! Sheldon!" she begged. Sheldon clenched his hand into a fist, and it was enough to take her over the edge.

"FUCK! SHELDON! OH GOD FUCK YES!" screamed Penny grinding against his hand. As she slumped breathless against his chest, Sheldon finally succumbed to the alcohol in his system and passed out again.

"Your turn next time Moonpie." She whispered pulling his hand out of her and laying it by his side. She climbed off him and slumped next to him, succumbing to a drunk fuelled sleep.


	5. Sheldon takes control

Penn groaned as she awoke and the sunlight hurt her eyes. She glanced down at the skirt and knickers half way down her thighs.

_Oh god. Did I hump the duvet again? I seriously need to get me some. Poor Sheldon would cringe at the thought of such unhygienic encounters._

_Sheldon._

_OH FUCK!_

Penny flipped over onto her back and placed her hands over her face as the events of the previous night came back to her. Atleast he wasn't in the bed. She still had to face him though. Pulling her clothes back up, she got to her feet, casting aside the pain of her hangover to head out into the living room. Part way to the door, she froze as she heard a strange noise, and turned to the couch to see Sheldon breathing into a bag.

"Hyperventilating sweetie?" she asked tentatively.

"Stay away from me!" he managed to get out between deep breaths. Penny waited until he had got his breathing under control and pulled the bag away from his face.

"Crazy night huh?" she asked awkwardly.

"I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested. You're the one that's crazy!" said Sheldon.

"Hey, you're not entirely blameless in this you know, you're the one who came over here blind drunk!" said Penny indignantly.

"Penny, you get drunk on a consistent basis, you know how to react, this was an entirely new experience for me!" he argued. Penny sighed.

"Sheldon, I'm really sorry. I was drunk too, I've been ages without any sex and I just…went crazy." Said Penny gesturing out in front of her for no reason.

"My head hurts." He muttered quietly.

"I'm not surprised. You were wasted. If it makes you feel any better mine hurts too." Said Penny.

"Why should that make me feel better? I don't wish my friends to be in physical pain." Said Sheldon. Penny smiled a little.

"I'm still your friend?" she asked hopefully.

"Well, it's like you said…I _did_ come over here and instigate the events of last night, albeit whilst in an intoxicated state. And you did take care of me until your likewise intoxicated state occurred." Admitted Sheldon.

"Right. So we can forget it happened yeah?" she asked hopefully.

"Not exactly. Before I passed out you said it was my turn next time. You have not delivered upon your promise." Said Sheldon. Penny shook her head in confusion.

"I'm sorry, what are you saying?" she asked.

"Since I performed to your satisfaction I feel it only appropriate that should I decide in the future I wish to engage in such an activity…you should assist in my experience." Said Sheldon.

"Are you asking me to fuck you?" asked Penny open mouthed.

"Penny, there is really no need for the crude language." Said Sheldon.

"I'm sorry, but since when did Homo Novus want sex?" asked Penny.

"I didn't say I did. I said if I decided I did…then you should assist me." Said Sheldon.

"Wait, this doesn't make any sense. You're basically saying that no matter who either of us are seeing, if at some point in the future you decide you wish to experience sex, I'm supposed to drop everything, including my clothes, and screw you?" asked Penny.

"Penny, would you please resist making such references as fucking and screwing?" asked Sheldon.

"Do you even have any idea what you're suggesting? This is…I don't even know what it is!" said Penny.

"It is merely reciprocating an event that has already occurred." Sheldon explained.

"Sheldon, maybe I should take you to the doctor. I think something has blown in that beautiful mind of yours." Said Penny.

"I do not require medical assistance Penny." He assured her. He got to his feet and Penny backed up against the door as he passed by her.

"Penny, you have no need to adjust your current location, I have no intention in engaging in such an activity at the current time." He informed her and made his way to her kitchen.

"Sheldon, I don't even know what's happening!" said Penny.

"I'm trying to find some painkillers…but since your apartment is afterall _your_ apartment, subject to _your_ organisational paradigm, or lack of, I feel I should return to my apartment to have any chance of obtaining my required medication." Said Sheldon.

"I can't even make sense of this. My head hurts." Penny groaned. She closed her eyes and massaged her head. She gasped as she felt his breath on her face and looked up to see him standing directly in front of her staring back at her.

"You are preventing me from exiting your apartment." He informed her. Penny just stood staring at him. There was a strange sense of calm on his face, where she had expected him to be completely freaking out.

"You have a new scent." He remarked staring at her.

"N…new…perfume…" Penny stammered out.

"Whilst I am usually one to embrace Homeostasis I must admit I find the new scent enjoyable." He replied.

"Um…thanks?" she offered.

"You're welcome." He replied. They kept staring at each other.

"Oh, you need me to move!" Penny guessed. She tried to move but Sheldon pressed against her, keeping her in place.

"The effect you are having on me is indeed a strange phemomenon." He said never taking his eyes off hers.

"W…what…what effect?" Penny stammered.

"Penny, surely with your experience of the male genitalia you can tell what is pressing into your lower abdomen?" asked Sheldon. Penny gasped.

"That's…it can't be!" Penny stammered.

"I assure you it is what you are thinking of." Said Sheldon.

"My god, it's like a tripod!" gasped Penny. Sheldon smirked.

"Whilst I do not engage in coitus, I can inform you I am suitably endowed in the genital area." Said Sheldon.

"How would you even know?" whispered Penny.

"Your very reaction would prove my hypothesis." Said Sheldon, still smirking. He placed his hands on her shoulders.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Holding you in your current position, as I suspect you are going to attempt to stand on tip toe to make our genital regions in alignment for dry humping." Sheldon replied.

"Dry humping? How the hell do you know about dry humping?" Penny cried in shock.

"I read that book you got me." He said in a low growl.


End file.
